Men and women are different, they say. And there are so many books that only reiterate this fact, over and over again. But this is the first time that an author has tried to bridge the gap of polarity between men and women. With a refreshing new perspective, here comes a book which is extremely well-researched, and busts our deep-rooted myths about gender and its workings.
Is she as complicated as she is made out to be? Is he inherently as aggressive as he is thought to be? Why do women spend on makeup and men on machines? Why do men commit more crimes than women? Why do women cry so often? Why do women talk so much and men not as much? Hundreds of these gender specific questions have plagued the human kind and have remained an enigma ever since. While we sit and speculate about these questions, Rashmi has a radically different perspective to offer, which is backed by scientific data and empirical evidence.
Statements like ‘take it like a man’, ‘don’t be such a girl’ ‘boys don’t cry’, ‘man-up’, you have to be strong’, are continually bombarded at boys since they are little. While, ‘act like a girl’, ‘don’t laugh too loudly’, ‘you are attracting too much attention’ ‘sit properly’, ‘don’t go out after dark’, are stereotypical articulations that are forced upon girls. In usage, so often, these statements even fail to register in our minds as stereotypical. We adhere blindly and pass it on to the next generation just the way we got it – articulates Rashmi.
It is time to take a rain check – have we as a human race botched up the real man and the real woman in the whirlwind of conditioning? A woman in battle and a man in a nurturing role, how different are they? How did our primates handle these differences, or is there any difference at all?
In our obsession with finding differences between men and women, we have actually miscalculated the similitude? Is womanhood reserved for motherhood, adjustment with a zillion relatives, cooking, cleaning, nurturing or could it be more significant like intuition, attention to detail, micro management and so on? Is manhood reserved for the hackneyed model of expectations from him or could it be his imposing, expansive and comforting presence.
Overcooked, overdone and only full of dressing and drama, the taste of the real person is as elusive as the main ingredient in the entrée. It is time, we relaxed the tough statues that govern relationships and look at ourselves without symbolism- raw, completely organic, ‘au naturelle’.
When was the last time a thinking mind got you excited? Has the sound of your partner’s keychain ever turned you on? Has someone’s kindness ever left you weak in the knees? Do you remember feeling excited just by the smell of your partner’s pillow or felt a sensual rush with a whiff of their clothes hanging behind the washroom door? You could call these, rumblings of a devout romantic, but it only seems that way, because we have never been taught or allowed to feel our raw side, our real selves.
These two complementary yet formidable forces of nature, man and woman, are incomplete without each other just as day is incomplete without night, summer without spring, solid without liquid, inhalation without exhalation and stillness without movement – adds Rashmi.
The book ‘Men-Women, Mars-Venus & All That B***s***’ has been published by Vishwakarma Publications in association with literary Agency ‘The Book Bakers’.
